obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
