thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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