WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
