i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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