If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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