you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
