Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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