When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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