Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
In the future we'll all be gay
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
