If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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