hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Ketchup is God's man juice
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
