I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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