Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
