Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
