put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
