Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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