Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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