I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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