She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
