You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Randomize
