My entire life is one complicated drinking game
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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