So drunk its hurt
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize