idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
