I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
