Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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