Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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