You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
