Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
