community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize