....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
