so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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