I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
