I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize