you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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