did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize