I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
