Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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