Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
