I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
