'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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