I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
