Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
