Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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