After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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