i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
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