i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You've changed since you got that strap on
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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