We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
