we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
