Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Randomize
