Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
