Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Randomize
