If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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