There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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