I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize