i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
