you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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