There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize