I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
