Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
