what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
3 2 1 whiskey
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
