So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Randomize
