we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
