I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
