Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
