Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
