I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
